Sometimes I really wonder why we aren't all just lesbians. Boys are clearly idiots and I don't know why we associate with them.
I MEAN, not all guys are retarded; the Boyfriend is amazing, I love him, and he should definitely not yell at me for this if he reads it because I clearly don't mean him omgdon'thateme.
My dear friend Lauren has had the worst luck with relationships ever, but has finally found a guy who worships her like she deserves.
All is good.
No more of the nonsense she experienced with her ex Kevin.
Glad that's over.
Lauren: So um, Kevin dumped Lindsey. To be with me.
Lauren: Yeah, he'd been texting me again and Lindsey saw one of my replies and freaked out again. It wasn't even anything to assume something was going on because of. So he dumped her...
Effy: And now he wants you back.
Lauren: Yep, he was like "I'm all yours now".
Effy: Because you clearly want him back. Quite the big assumption to be making...
Lauren: He knows I have a boyfriend now, but he's chosen to ignore that fact and has been talking about getting back together for a while now, even while he was with Lindsey.
Effy: Wow, and just think. She was willing to fake a pregnancy to ensure he'd stay with her. This is the stuff Shakespearean tragedies are made of. Such a beautiful display of desperation and conceited douchebaggery.
Lauren: We could write a book.
Effy: It will be the bible of our futuristic lesbian society.
I've complained about this sort of thing to the Boyfriend before, told him he should be ashamed of the behaviour of the male species and warned him that I'm probably going to leave him for Scarlett Johansson.
He just asks if he can watch.
...my point exactly.